The Queen of Candor

Commemorating September 11th

Every year on September 11th I appreciate being alive and wonder why I'm not dead. I worked in the World Trade Center on September 11th 2001. Tower Two. I was out of town that day. I easily could have been there, but was not. And each year I ask myself the same questions.

How is the world different because I lived on September 11th when others died? What have I done in the last 12 months to make the world smaller and to build community each time I get on a plane, walk in a store, meet someone new and have a conversation. Where have I played small. Said yes when I meant no. Said no when I wanted to say yes. Or didn't say anything at all.

The further we get from September 11th the more it impacts me. I'm struck by the people who died and didn't finish what they started. I'm struck by human beings continued approach to solving problems with violence. And each year I debate how to mark the day.

I think about marking the day privately, in my own way. But I always feel compelled to reach out. For me September 11th is the outcome of a lack of community and thus it is a public conversation.

Each year I reach out to my friends and colleagues at OppenheimerFunds who shared the days after September 11th. I let them know I'm grateful for them and I'm happy they're alive. I remember my mother's panicked call needing to confirm that I was indeed out of town on September 11th, and what it must be like for a parent to fear her child is in harm's way. And then I reflect on my year.

Perhaps September 11th is my day of atonement. It is the day every year on which I reflect on my contribution to the world and how the world is or is not different because I am in it. What difference have I made, will I make? What am I doing that I love and who am I doing it with?

I will leave you with this. What are you doing that's important to you, today? What are you doing that's not? How did you make the world smaller, today?

Shari

You Can Be George Carlin

I was struck this week by the death of George Carlin. A beloved comedian globally.  An institution.  A bold and brazen pioneer in the entertainment industry.

I’ve been a George Carlin fan since I was a kid.  This week I questioned why. Because he was funny?  Irreverent?  Spoke the truth? A fellow comedian?  A kindred spirit?

It is none of those things, although I hold them all as true.  He was unapologetically himself.  Not hoping, trying to be someone or something else.  He didn’t alter his style or accommodate.  He was authentic.  Real.  Brash and brazen.  Just George. 

I write, speak and teach about knowing your reputation so you can manage and accelerate your  career.  And at times I’m concerned that people will interpret my suggestion as trying to fit in.  Altering yourself so you ‘fit’ with an organization.  Fitting in isn’t my suggestion. Rather, find the right fit.

We have all been in organizations, relationships, cities and even homes that weren’t a good fit for us.  As persistent individuals, we try to make these circumstances work.  We live in a new home with new carpet and freshly planted trees when all we really want is an old home with hardwood floors, in an established neighborhood.  And at times we work in organizations where try as we might, we don’t fit.

I was doing a presentation in a college career center when one of the college’s career coaches described students who want to work at big name companies like Nike, IBM and Hewlett Packard because they ‘know’ those companies and think as a result they must be better places to work than small, less known companies. I have no doubt that those organizations are good places to work, but not for everyone. 

One of the big, established companies I used to work for was, according to most standards, a good organization and a great place to work. The organization’s vision and values were closely aligned with the work, the benefits were good and the people were nice.  It was indeed a great place to work, and I was miserable.

People were nice, but they weren’t candid.  I’m candid.  Work got done in committees by consensus.  I see committees run by consensus as adding 6 months to any project.  I move fast.  The company moved slowly. 

I spent three years there wondering what was wrong with me.  “Why aren’t I happy? Why, despite working hard and delivering “exceeds expectations” results am I always ‘in trouble’?”  I was consistently ‘being spoken to’ because I wasn’t a good fit.

It didn’t matter how much I held my tongue in meetings, or invited others to partner on projects, or was friendly and accommodating to fit into the ‘nice’ culture.  I was perpetually uncomfortable in the organization and the organization was perpetually uncomfortable with me. 

Back to why I loved George Carlin.   George was just George. He didn’t alter himself or his style to ‘fit’ with a certain audience or venue.  He chose venues where he was wanted, welcomed and appreciated, where he was a good ‘fit” and when he got there, he did his thing and did it well.

Not every city, venue or audience was a fit for George and not every job, organization or relationship will be a good fit for you.   Know yourself.  Spend time getting to know the organizations and jobs you’re considering. Pick a good fit and then manage your reputation so you get more of what you want and less of what don’t.

Shari Harley leads The Harley Group International, a Denver-based training and development firm focused on helping organizations hire and retain key talent. Shari can be reached at shari@shariharley.com or http://www.shariharley.com.

Copyright 2008  The Harley Group International. All Rights Reserved.

 

Bad Economy. Great Career.

I know it sounds crazy. Bad economy. Good career opportunity. The two seem diametrically opposed. They're not.

The status of open jobs as an economy becomes uncertain:

Stage 1) Open jobs can be filled. No new positions are created.

Stage 2) There is a hiring freeze. No jobs can be filled.

Stage 3) Reduction in force. Jobs are eliminated.

Sounds pretty gloomy huh? And it is, for many. Being laid off is stressful and rife with uncertainty. Working in an environment governed by costs rather than growth is challenging. It is the employees left behind after a reduction in force who stand to gain, if they play their cards right.

Fewer people, more work. This is not a new phenomenon. It's a reality with which we are all familiar. And it is here that the law of diminishing returns comes in to play.

Many employees leave jobs because they have too much to do and not enough time in which to do it. Aka they were so stressed that the unknown -- a new opportunity -- became more appealing than the known.

Stress can drive performance. Too much stress impedes performance. Employees become paralyzed by how much they have to do and thus do nothing. It's up to both employees and managers to monitor workloads and set realistic expectations.

The upside of fewer employees and more work is more opportunities for remaining employees. The key is to be strategic when taking on more work.

The last company at which I worked was deliberately leanly staffed. As people voluntarily left and were not replaced, work was parsed out to various departments. The key is to know what work to take and what work with which to play the 'not it' game.

When a position is not filled, anticipate the work that will be distsributed. Have a ready-to-articulate reason why your department is not the appropriate spot for that (boring, tedious) work. And offer to take another (more interesting) accountability.

Every job has its grunt work, even at the most senior levels. The key is to position yourself as adding the greatest value to the work you want most. That said, your positioning cannot appear to be about the work you want and don't want. The accountabilities you pursue must be about where you and your department will add the most value to the organization.

Career mantra: It's not about you. It's about the company. Remember the banner stretched across the office in the movie Office Space asking, "Is it good for the company?" The same rules apply to you. You are volunteering to take this additional piece of work not because it's good for your career and allows you to do something you've always wanted to do, but because it's good for the company.

Your career is a PR campaign. The company exists to serve its customers and to be profitable, not to help you build skills and make you happy. If you develop and are happy in the process, fabulous. Employee growth and satisfaction is a key element to company profitability, and effective leaders work hard to achieve both. But they are not the reason for the company's existence.

In college I was an intern at a training company that did backpacking trips and ropes courses with corporate and youth clientele. Interns typically cleaned equipment, swept the storeroom and did other mind-numbing tasks. There was no way I was spending a semester doing that. It was not an option.

So I demonstrated interest and competence in other areas that were important to the organization and of interest to me. At the end of the internship my boss said to me, "You didn't do the work of other interns because you demonstrated an ability to do other things." I hate to admit that my actions weren't strategic. I wasn't as deliberate as I'm hoping you will be. I just knew there was no way I was spending four months sweeping floors and washing sleeping bags.

Use an abundance of work and lean staff to your advancement. What role is now vacant that you have always wanted? What department needs a home? Identify what you want to do and then ask for it.

The upside is that you'll be seen as an ambitious team player. The downside is that you and your department will have more work to do, possibly more than you can manage. And this is potentially a recipe for overwhelm and dissatisfaction. And it is here that you negotiate.

Something has to give. You can't take on more work without more resources without making changes. Either your service levels change, you automate with technology or you stop doing things which are less essential. And you negotiate and agree upon these changes with your direct supervisor.

Deciding to stop producing a report that is time consuming and you're sure no one reads is a breakdown in the making. Tell your boss, "I'm willing to take on .....;" or better yet, "I'm excited to do ..... That said, I want to realistically manage workloads. Let's talk about how I can shift what I'm doing to make it all work."

This is being assertive and responsible, both for your well being and the well being of the organization. Remember, too much to do, for too long results in doing nothing.

Take control of your day by managing your work load with your boss, not around her. Make her your partner in decision making and you'll be seen as a reliable, long term resource.

The Path to Promotion

My parents never said no to my brother and me. They just refused to pay for things we wanted to do. An SAT prep. course, studying abroad, traveling summer camp. "Yes, of course you can do that, all you have to do is find the money." I don't think their intention was to encourage us to become self reliant. I think it was just easier than saying no.

My response: I went to work for the organizations that offered the programs I wanted to do and thus got to participate and get paid for it. And this is the same practice to use when developing your career. If you want something, go get it.

The way to your next job is to be great at your current job, and ask for more. The path to promotion is not to complain about your current job -- how underutilized and over qualified you are and how you've been unfairly passed over for opportunities. That will only get you a reputation as a whiny pain in the......

Do what you're doing well and seemingly happily, and ask for more. More responsibility and more exposure. Not literally of course. Employees who tell their boss they want to manage more employees, lead another department and be more visible are perceived as empire builders. Empire builders are threatening to others and are seen as dangerous. Ask for the things that will provide you with more responsibility and exposure. Accountability and visibility will be the outcome.

Most people think that to enhance their careers they need a new job, a rotation or a promotion. This is just not the case.

Ask to participate in a project that may be outside the scope of your role and may be in another department in the company. For example, if you have an interest in Marketing but work in IT, ask to sit in on the Marketing staff meetings. Ask to work on a project in the Marketing department or to be mentored by someone who works in Marketing. These projects and short term assignments are in addition to your current responsibilities, not in lieu of them.

You may be thinking, "I already work enough hours. I don't want to take on more; I want to do something different." If that's the case, apply for jobs doing what you really want to do. And while you are in pursuit of that new job, become more efficient at your current role so you can take on more without working more hours.

Working 60 - 80 hours a week is not necessary to get ahead. Producing great work efficiently is what's required to get ahead. Managers only track employees' hours when work isn't getting done well.

It can be challenging for employees to make a big career change within their organization. Organizational leaders have only seen you in your current role and may think it's all you know and can do. 'Volunteering' in other departments and on projects outside the scope of your regular job allows you to build relationships you otherwise would not, develop new skills and demonstrate existing expertise. It also positions you as a versatile, engaged employee who not only talks about wanting more, but goes out and gets it.

Hiring the Right Employees

People tend to hire people they like – people who look like them, sound like them and potentially think like them.  This is a risky proposition.  You need people in your organization who think and act differently from you, with different skills, abilities and interests.

There is nothing more important than hiring the right people.  The right people need coaching, development and hands-on management, but not nearly as much as the ‘wrong’ people.  The right people grow with your company, developing their careers over time.  The wrong people jump to the next seemingly exciting opportunity before adding value in their current role and to your company.  Recruiting and hiring is the single most important thing managers do, besides manage their employees.  And yet, we don’t do it deliberately, with disciplined rigor. 

A few uncommon hiring tips:

1.      Hire to your weaknesses. 

2.      Assess whether or not candidates want to be governed by your company and team’s values and norms.  If these established behaviors don’t resonate with candidates, they aren’t a good fit with your company.

3.      Many of the needs, behaviors and preferences employees exhibit shortly after starting a job could have been detected during the interview process.

a.       If the candidate needs to work from home and is waiting to feel comfortable with you before making that request, you can tease that out during the interview process.

b.      If the candidate doesn’t really want this job but plans to use it as a stepping stone to his next opportunity, you can tease that out during the interview process.

c.       If the candidate really wants more money and is hoping that a pay increase will be forthcoming shortly after being hired, you can tease that out during the interview process.

Consider adding a few questions to your interviews like: 

·      What are three things that will keep you in this job and what is one thing that would make you leave?

·      What has you interested in this job? What do you think the job and company will provide for you that is compelling?

·      What are your concerns?

·      Tell me about the organization you worked for that felt like the best fit for you.  What made it the best fit?

·      Tell me about an organization you worked for that didn’t feel like a good fit.  What about it wasn’t a good fit?

Many hiring managers are unnecessarily and unpleasantly surprised after bringing on, training and developing new employees – read investing valuable time and resources – to learn that they can’t meet employees’ needs and desires.  And thus those newly found employees leave the organization within a year of being hired, when they are still on the debt side of the business.

4.      Require a writing sample.  Most professionals, regardless of the job they’re in, need to be able to write using proper grammar, syntax and structure.  You don’t have time to teach people the basics. If candidates don’t know and practice these rules by now, they’re not going to in the near future.

5.      Require candidates who are in the final stages of interviewing to demonstrate that they have the required transferrable skills by including a chance to demonstrate the skills you are seeking.  Ask potential trainers to do a formal presentation during which they teach a panel of interviewers a skill.  Ask potential sales people to conduct a mock sales call.  Ask potential project managers to design a project plan based on information you provide. 

Spend more time learning about candidates and less time figuring out how to get rid of staff who aren’t a good fit, don’t work hard and don’t have the skills and experience you need.

A few common hiring tips:

6.      Use a mostly – 75% -- list of established questions for each role so that you can compare one candidate to the next. 

7.      Ask additional questions – 25% of your interview questions – based on different things you want to know about an individual candidate.

8.      Practice behavioral interviewing – interview questions that start with, “Tell me about a time you…” and require the candidate to draw on past experiences to demonstrate transferable skills.

Lots of ‘surprises’ can be unearthed during a thorough and disciplined interview. 

If your track record for hiring the right talent is weak – your staff stays less than a year and/or aren’t strong performers; the people you’ve hired aren’t a good fit with the organization and/or you regret some of your hiring decisions – get help.  Have someone you trust with a good hiring track record screen your candidates. Debrief each interview with him and understand how he formed his impressions, so that you make better decisions next time. 

Hiring the right staff is too important to not get it right.  Everyone at some time in his/her career makes bad hiring decisions.  Candidates are elusive and most will say anything to get hired.  The more thorough, disciplined and deliberate you are, the better decisions you’ll make.

Shari leads The Harley Group International, a Denver-based speaking, training and consuting firm focused on helping organizations develop and retain key talent. Shari can be reached via email at shari@harleygroupllc.com, at her website http://www.shariharley.com, or check her out on YouTube:  www.youtube.com/shariharley.

It's All About the Results

Work hard and do great work.  But it is not how hard you work or the hours you

put in that will determine your reputation or your future, it is by what you

produce.

It’s not unusual for the hardest working people to get laid off.  They worked crazy hours.  They are the first ones in in the morning, every morning, for years.  And they are the last ones to go home in the evening, every evening, for years.  They work their butts off, missing their kids’ sporting events and any semblance of a personal life. Work was their lives. And yet, they aren’t any good.  Regardless of how many hours they put in, they produce mediocre results, and everybody knows it. 

And because giving direct feedback, as we’ve already established and you already know through a lifetime of personal experience, makes people uncomfortable, they don’t get any, for years and years.  They linger in their same jobs, toiling away, being continuously ineffective, but no one tells them, until eventually their roles are eliminated.  That’s the day they get feedback, loud and very clear feedback.  But that’s not the point.

The point is that how hard you work makes no difference. Now don’t take this the wrong way. I am not suggesting you become a slacker loser who comes in at ten, takes a two hour lunch, surfs the internet while sipping a double, skim, decaf, vanilla latte during the afternoon and knocks off early.  You already know that everything you do makes an impression and that you only want to put in front of people what you want them to see, so you can manage their perceptions. 

You should work hard.  Working hard will help you get the right reputation, get noticed and possibly get ahead, but only if the work you produce, while working hard, is good.   If the work you’re producing is mediocre, then work a normal work day and go home, because anything beyond that and you’re wasting your time. Pick up a hobby.  Learn to play pool. Make new friends. But doing more of something ineffectively is an utter waste of time.  Eating M&M’s while running on a treadmill would be a better use of your time.

Now, how do you know whether or not you’re doing great work? I’m quite certain that the poor souls mentioned at the beginning of this entry were pretty convinced that they were doing great work.  If you want to know how your work is being perceived, you need to ask people. Know your reputation, remember??  Ask for feedback from people who will give it to you, straight between the eyes.  And look for signs.

Here’s how to spot the people who are perceived as doing good work:

They get asked to do more.  It’s one of the unfair realities of the working world. The better you are, the more you’re asked to do. Think about it, if you are launching a project and you want it to go well, are you going to give it to a rock star to lead or someone who does mediocre work?

People who do good work tend to get put on lots of projects or initiatives. They’re asked to participate in areas that extend beyond the sphere of influence that their ‘real’ job creates.  They’re one of the go to people. For example, you need an answer to a question or something done in the Marketing department.  Regardless of who you ask, you consistently get referred to one or two of the same people, no matter that what they do in the Marketing department has nothing to do with what you need. They’re perceived as being good and good people often know more than their titles or job responsibilities would lend you to believe they know, and if they can’t answer your question, they’ll find someone who can.  Also the good people in the company know the other good people in the company.  It’s like the I’m famous you’re famous phenomenon.  The good people hang out with the good people and the not-so-good-people, well quite frankly, they have no idea, but they pretty much hang out with the other not-so-good people.

If you want to excel at work, get on the best team.  The best teams, with the most capable people, get the best projects and they get the money to lead those projects effectively.  It’s hard to deliver results without the right funding.  You also want to work for a perceived power player who delivers results and is respected. It’s really hard to work in a department or for someone who isn’t respected.  I’ve been there, and it’s lousy.  Regardless of how good you are, others associate you with the overall ineffectualness of the department or with the person who is not-so-good.  And it’s hard and awkward to distance yourself from your department or boss to elicit the respect of others.  It’s a double edge sword. You need to be close to your boss for him/her to know enough about what you’re doing to feel comfortable moving you forward in the organization, but if you’re too close to an ineffective manager you get lumped with that person.  The key is to generate your own positive results and promote the heck out of those results. 

People say good things about them and the work they do.  You don’t often here the not-so-good people getting a lot of accolades.

They get promoted. 

So work hard and do great work.  And if you aren’t sure how your work is being perceived, ask someone who will tell you.  And if you aren’t any good at what you do get good, switch fields or work 40 hours a week and pick up a hobby.

Shari leads The Harley Group, a Denver-based training and development firm focused on helping organizations develop and retain key talent. Shari can be reached at shari@harleygroupllc.com or http://www.harleygroupllc.com.

People do not do things as we would do them, even when we think they should.

Meetings start late, without an agenda, and we are surprised.  Employees come in late without calling and we are surprised.  Colleagues don’t return calls in a timely way, and we are surprised.  It’s human to expect employees to do things as we would do them, similar to being raised never go to someone else’s home empty handed.  We wouldn’t even conceive of doing something like this, so how could anyone else?  We never told people we expected meetings to start on time and have an agenda.  We never told our employees to call if they’re going to be late.  We never asked our colleagues to return our calls within 24 hours. We shouldn’t have to. They should just know.  Well, they don’t.

People don’t do things as we do them, even when we think they should.  It’s so simple, so obvious, an “oh duh” statement of sorts, and yet we continue to be surprised when people violate our unstated expectations.  And addressing an unstated, unmet expectation after there has been an unknown misstep or error is challenging.  We’re furious that person is late; they should know better. We want to say something, but we don’t. At first because we’re too angry and don’t want it to “come out wrong,” and later because it’s just too hard.  Speaking honestly and directly makes us uncomfortable.  We say we don’t want to make the other person uncomfortable, but the truth is, the inability or unwillingness to confront a violated expectation has nothing to do with the other person’s discomfort and everything to do with our own.

What happens if they cry? What happens if they become defensive?  Then what?  So we say nothing, because it’s easier….in the moment. We hope the behavior will change, that without our having to say anything employees, colleagues and direct supervisors will get the point and make a shift.  But they won’t.  They’ll keep doing what they’re doing because for all they know, what they’re doing is working.  You haven’t told them anything other than that, so why even consider doing things another way.  Waiting for someone to change their behavior without making that request is like waiting for your dog to walk itself. It isn’t going to happen.

This entry is about setting the foundation for business relationships in which you can make requests, give feedback and speak candidly without wishing you brought prescription medication to work.  It’s about setting up relationships to deliberately get what both you and the other person wants, rather than maybe, possibly, if the stars align.  It’s also about building trust. 

People leave managers not jobs.  And if you know that, and you’re tired of being at the effect of employee disengagement and turnover, what are you going to do about it?

The Formula

When I hire someone new, start a new initiative, a new team, a new anything, I have an expectation setting conversation. For now, we’ll use on boarding a new employee as the example.  When a new employee starts working for me I do the same thing, every time.

Day One – Take them to lunch.  Being at a new company is like being at a new school. It’s scary, awkward, and stressful.  People wonder, who will I talk to? Who will I have lunch with? How do things work around here? Will I fit in? Take your new employee to lunch and get to know them, as a person. Let them get to know you, as a person.  Be human.  Again, people leave managers not jobs.  And the second greatest reason for employee turnover is not liking the people and the culture at a company. So from day one, begin creating a place in which your new employee will want to work. 

Even if you work at a company with a difficult culture, with massive turnover and a terrible reputation in your business community, you can create a department and/or team in which people want to work.  It is more difficult, but it is completely doable.  As much as you can buffer your employees from the system that doesn’t work and create an environment that mimics what they want, you will create happy, loyal and dedicated employees who stay both with you and the company. 

Notice I didn’t say create a fun workplace, or a flexible environment.  We assume that’s what employees want and that’s not necessarily the case.  In a future blog entry (hint, hint, keep reading each week) I’ll share the process of learning what your employees want, enabling you the opportunity to give it to them, rather than giving them what you think they want, which is most likely based on what you want or on some article you read.

Over lunch, or during my first meeting with my new employee I say this, “As your manager, my job is to help you get where you want to go, whether that is here within the company or elsewhere.  As a result, I’m going to ask for your permission to let you know anything I see you do or say that either contributes to where you want to go or gets in the way of that goal. Is that ok with you?”  Now, as their manager, I don’t need permission to give them feedback, my title and direct authority gives me that right, and employees know it.  But I get something for asking. I start to build trust, a little bit at a time. Because where trust is broken in an instant, it is built over time.  So from the first day I interact with my employees – starting during the hiring process – I am building trust.  And because all long lasting relationships are built on trust, I am building the foundation for my loyal, committed and long term work force.

By asking to give feedback I give some control over to the employee, and when people feel they have some control, they feel more comfortable.  And at that point I give them a list of questions I call “Contracting Questions.”  These are a list of questions I created out of my own bad work experiences.  Out of having managers who told me that jobs offers were contingent upon living in a certain city, but going nuts when I moved there without their permission.  Permission I didn’t know I needed to have.  Or managers who called me screaming that they hadn’t met with me in weeks, when they never said they wanted to have regular meetings. Like every relationship, we learn what to do by learning what not to do.

Read next week’s entry to get the “Contracting Questions” and the rest of “The Formula” for establishing long lasting working relationships based on trust, loyalty and commitment.

Shari Harley

Shari leads The Harley Group International, a Denver-based training and development firm focused on helping organizations develop and retain key talent. Shari can be reached at shari@harleygroupllc.com or http://www.shariharley.com

Manage the Impressions You Create

People talk.  As simple and obvious as it is, I’m continuously surprised by how much people talk about other people, with how much depth and with what result.

Everything you do forms an impression with other people.  What you wear. What time you come to work. What time you leave.  Who your friends are and who you are seen chit chatting with at work and going to lunch with.  And it’s these little, seemingly insignificant things that can hold you back.  And very rarely will someone talk with you about them, letting you know that they are potential career limiting behaviors.   

If you finish a project late or over budget, someone will tell you.  If you wear clothing to work that is inappropriate for your office environment, very few people will tell you.  But they’ll make a mental note that you may not be the best person to send to a conference to represent the company.  Or perhaps you’re not the most appropriate person to represent your boss at meetings when s/he’s out of town.

Impressions are formed quickly.  Here are some of the tough lessons my clients working in corporate settings have learned:

Suzanne worked hard.  She came in early and stayed late.  She wanted to be promoted, but three years after being in her same job, neither her title nor her responsibilities had changed and her pay increases were the standard three to four percent.  She was frustrated.  It came out during a conversation with her boss that the Senior Vice President of business unit, her boss’s boss’s boss, thought she was a slacker.  When Suzanne heard this she was shocked.  “How’s that possible,” she asked her boss. “I manage more projects than anyone on our team.  I work harder than anyone else in our department.”  Her boss hesitated, hesitated some more and finally said, “Your cube is right outside Mike’s office and you get a lot of visitors at your desk.  He feels that each time he comes out of your office there’s someone else hanging out at your desk chit chatting. He thinks you squander your time and as a result he won’t support your promotion.”

After this conversation Suzanne came to see me. She was furious and confused.  She said, “I deliver great results.  I manage more projects than anyone in this department.  Does he not know that?  So what if I talk with friends during the day. I’m doing my job and I’m doing it well.”   

I was empathetic and understood her frustration.  And here’s what I told her:  Perceptions are everything. They’re made quickly and they’re hard to change.  Mike’s not as close to your work as your current boss is.  He doesn’t see your day-to-day results.  What he sees when he leaves his office is a different person hanging out at your desk, and every time he sees that it further reinforces his feeling that you’re not a hard worker and that you waste time socializing at work. 

You can manage what you put in front of him. 

So, what do you put in front of the people whose opinion you care about?  A tip: 

If you are a morning person and are in the office by seven a.m. and out at four p.m., make it really clear to others that you’ve been in the office since long before they arrived.  Make sure you occasionally send an email at seven.  The same goes if you’re someone who comes in late and leaves late. If you’re at your desk long after others have gone home, the only person who knows that is you.  Make it apparent to others that you work late.  The same rule applies if you’ve negotiated a work at home schedule or that you leave at five to pick up your children in exchange for working in the evenings after the kids go to bed.  You have to make it clear that you are indeed producing outside of regular work hours, and one of the beautiful things about email is that they’re date stamped.

Some of these practices may sound manipulative and contrived to you.  Log on at night and send an email so people think you’re working.  Send an email early in the morning so others won’t question your work ethic when you leave the office before five p.m.  They’re not intended to be crafty, they’re intended to make sure people know what you’re doing, because in the absence of knowledge, people fill in the gaps, and never for the better. 

Meaning, human beings have a need to be-in-the-know and understand, understand what is happening and why.  And when we don’t have the information we need, we go looking for it and at times will ‘make stuff up’ in order to understand our surroundings.  By make up I don’t mean maliciously invent, I mean extrapolate and add to.  For example, John and Sue are seen returning from lunch together twice a week for three weeks. He is seen at her desk a couple of days a week as well. You and the rest of the office assume that they’re dating.  Maybe they’re working on a project together and the only time they can meet is over lunch.  Maybe Sue is mentoring John for his next role.  But that’s not where people go; they go to the most juicy, interesting story because it is just that, the most juicy and the most interesting, and people have a need to ‘know.’ 

So, don’t make people wonder. Get there first and fill in the gaps so people don’t have to go looking for more information and ‘make stuff up.’  Manage others’ perceptions by what you put in front of them.

Shari leads The Harley Group, a Denver-based training and development firm focused on helping organizations develop and retain key talent. Shari can be reached at shari@harleygroupllc.com or http://www.shariharley.com

Know Your Reputation

You're smart. You work hard. You went to a great school. You may have even gone to graduate school. And you have a good job. You want to be promoted, but you haven't been. You've asked your boss what it will take for you to take the next step and you were told, "It's just not time yet. Keep doing what you're doing; And you do. For one year, maybe two, maybe three. And three years later you haven't been moved to a different job, or team, or project, and you don’t know why.

There is a reason you are being held in your current job. There may be several reasons, but very few people will tell you. It’s not that your boss doesn’t want you to succeed, but giving candid feedback makes most people uncomfortable; it’s easier not to say anything. And the things that are holding you back are hard for your boss and colleagues to articulate. They’re little things; it almost seems petty to even mention them to you, but they’re preventing you from getting where you want to go.

This is the first part of the Career Accelerator Series -- Taking Control of Your Career: Being Successful in Any Organization. Twice a week, over the next several weeks, I will articulate the ten things you should do to accelerate your career. And if you do these ten things you will be successful in any organization, in any industry and in any job, anywhere. This is a bold statement. You may be wondering, “Is she saying that if I do these 10 things I’ll be successful anywhere I work, regardless of the company’s culture, the job I’m in, or the economy?” Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

So tune in each week for the next tip, and accelerate your career.

Tip #1 KNOW YOUR REPUTATION

My father has been telling me my whole life not to worry what people think. “You can’t control what people think, so don’t bother trying.” He’s not wrong. People are going to make their own opinions and judgments. But we choose what we put in front of people. We choose what they see, and thus what they judge. And if we don’t know what they see, then we can’t manage their perceptions and we’re at the mercy of others’ opinions of us – of which we are usually unaware.

The only way to find out what people think of how you come across is to ask them. And know that most people won’t tell you, even when you ask. But a few will. A few courageous souls, who want to make a difference for you will tell you how you’re seen. And when they do, make it easy on them. Make the experience go down easy, like candy, so they’ll want to do it again. Giving constructive – a fancy word for negative – feedback is so hard for people, you have to make it easy for them. The right response to negative feedback is, “Thank you.” Saying “Thank you” doesn’t mean that they are right or that you agree, it means you heard them and you appreciate the risk they took in telling you. No one wants to make anyone feel badly, so they won’t tell you the things you do to damage your reputation and frustrate others, instead, they’ll tell other people.

I used to work for a woman who all too frequently used the phrase, “Feedback is a gift.” She usually said this either right before or after she verbally annihilated one of our team members. After verbally decimating one of us, she’d twitter, “Feedback is gift!” And while her positive spin on the verbal butt kicking we had just gotten was annoying, she was right.

So few people will be honest with you, when they do, it is a gift. When someone takes off the kid gloves and just tells you like it is, it’s like nothing else. It’s the most valuable thing anyone in the workplace can do for you. Because without candid feedback you’ll sit in your current job year in and year out, wondering why your career isn’t going anywhere. And eventually you’ll become frustrated and leave your company, only to quickly become pigeonholed in your next job, because the keys to being successful in business are the same everywhere, not just at your current company. And if you don’t master those things, your career will stagnate wherever you are.

If this feedback is so important, but hard to get, how do you find out how you’re seen? Find a few key people in your life who care about you and are direct. Don’t seek feedback from the person in the office who hates you, covets your job, or has an ax to grind; you get the point. Being straight is a risk; someone who cares about you might just take that risk.

How to set up a feedback-rich conversation: Approach friends, family members and colleague(s) who have had a chance to observe you in different types of settings. Tell them that you are working on understanding how others’ perceive you and that you would be very grateful if they’d give you some feedback over drinks, or lunch; you’ll buy. Tell them that whatever their feedback is, you’ll say thank you.

On the day of the meeting thank them for being willing to have a direct conversation with you and remind that that you want them to be honest and that no matter what they say, you’re only response will be “thank you.” You may have questions but will ask them to get more information, not to defend yourself.

A few questions to ask colleagues, friends, and family members:

What first impression do I create?

What am I like to work with? If they don’t work with you, ask what they think you would be like to work with.

What is my best skill?

What’s an area you think I need to develop?

What is a time I let you down?

What’s my reputation in the office or among our friends or family?

When receiving feedback, ask questions for more information and for clarification. Feel free to ask for examples if the feedback wasn’t specific enough. The best feedback includes a specific instance that you can remember or see yourself doing. And regardless of how hard it is to hear the feedback, don’t defend yourself. Remember, being honest with people and giving feedback is hard and it’s rare to find someone who will do it directly. Make feedback easy to deliver so they’ll be willing to do it again. Ask permission to follow up with them later, after you’ve had a change to think about and digest what they’ve said, if you want more information.

Once you know what people think and are saying about you, leverage the positive things and begin to work on improving the not-so-positive things. Start small, with one thing at a time. Human beings are most successful when we work on fewer than three things at a time. So pick one behavior to leverage and one to improve.

Consider going to see your boss to let him/her know that you’ve gotten some feedback, you’re working to improve in this area and you’d really appreciate their input. You’re going to catch him/her off guard, and you already know that most people aren’t comfortable giving feedback, so to set both of you up for success, try starting the conversation like this: “I’m working to improve on _________. I was wondering if you’d be willing to watch out for this behavior over the next two weeks and then perhaps we can set a time to discuss your observations. Would that be ok?” By doing this you’ve accomplished several things most people never even attempt.

You’ve demonstrated that you’re serious about and are taking action towards your professional development. You’re introspective and open to others’ input. You’ve also given some control to your boss and allowed him/her to save face, rather than putting him/her on the spot. It’s embarrassing for a supervisor to be asked a question about your performance that they can’t answer. By setting a future time to meet about your question, you give him/her a chance to be prepared for the conversation, reducing their defensiveness and increasing the likelihood that you’ll get the information you’re seeking.

Shari Harley

Shari leads The Harley Group, a Denver-based training and development firm focused on helping organizations develop and retain key talent. Shari can be reached at shari@harleygroupllc.com or http://www.shariharley.com